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[ She flashes him a smile first that very much carries the feeling of “no, you’re kind,” but it goes unsaid. Technically, she doesn’t know that, sure, but with her initial impression being quite warm and positive, she’d say it anyways.
As they get to the top of the temple and Drizzt begins his warning, her expression does turn curious, then quickly into a pout from there. ]
Oh, no hay problema, I already learned to be careful with things like that! It doesn’t have anything to do with those shadows or the Oracles, though…
[ The pout stays in place as she looks to the side of the temple next to Set’s, then huffs. She may have accepted her own error and forgiven Set for his own actions, but she was still just a little mad about this one part. It’s nothing serious, so far as gods go, but she’ll take the chance to complain to someone that will listen. ]
Set is very naughty sometimes, yes! Like, he’s not bad, but he’s still a trickster. And he tricked me with a spell that looked like my brother! So! I’ve learned my lesson, absolutely!
[ INCEPTIONS BACK ]
[ But she nods resolutely. Even if her explanation and even her level of upset is a bit childish, she takes the warning to heart. ]
Mm, but thank you for letting me know… I’ll keep an eye out for them out here and get rid of any I come across. Those shadows are no good at all, I’m sure.
As they get to the top of the temple and Drizzt begins his warning, her expression does turn curious, then quickly into a pout from there. ]
Oh, no hay problema, I already learned to be careful with things like that! It doesn’t have anything to do with those shadows or the Oracles, though…
[ The pout stays in place as she looks to the side of the temple next to Set’s, then huffs. She may have accepted her own error and forgiven Set for his own actions, but she was still just a little mad about this one part. It’s nothing serious, so far as gods go, but she’ll take the chance to complain to someone that will listen. ]
Set is very naughty sometimes, yes! Like, he’s not bad, but he’s still a trickster. And he tricked me with a spell that looked like my brother! So! I’ve learned my lesson, absolutely!
[ INCEPTIONS BACK ]
[ But she nods resolutely. Even if her explanation and even her level of upset is a bit childish, she takes the warning to heart. ]
Mm, but thank you for letting me know… I’ll keep an eye out for them out here and get rid of any I come across. Those shadows are no good at all, I’m sure.
[ The rejection doesn’t surprise her, but the fear that comes with it does. She hadn’t known if this was even something he’d want, after all, because even if he’s lonely and hurting in her eyes, he’s still proud and independent. Like he’d said, her presence could cause problems, and he might not want that. But fear— That’s not something she would have guessed he’d feel at all.
He at least explains it rather than leave her confused, but the expression of that confusion turns back to a soft smile. It’s another one of those aspects where there’s a gap between what kinds of gods they are. Because to Quetzalcoatl, the prospect of being forgotten by the World doesn’t frighten her. It seems like a fair consequence of giving up her Authority. She would be giving her teōtl back to Tezcatlipoca, no less, but why wouldn’t she? She’d sworn an oath. She would protect Set in what ways she could, and she felt that as resolutely as the moment she’d decided to descend to Mictlan. No matter the difficulties, it was a duty she’d gladly bear for another.
…But naturally, this wasn’t as simple as descending to Mictlan. The destined feats of a hero god were something that was always meant to be. Trying to embrace Set with her love wasn’t so concrete. She has the hope for it, not knowing that her own fate was being written by a demon and its master. ]
It’s okay.
[ She says that first, warm and comforting, and though she can’t quite hold his hands back with how he has her wrists, she does lean down so that she can kiss some of his fingers gently. She’s so intensely physical with her feelings that she just has to do something, really… ]
It was just an idea! If it’s better if I don’t, then I won’t. I just mean it, you know? I love you, so I want to be the big sister that’s always on your side. When things are good, I’ll smile with you, and when they’re bad, I’ll embrace you. I want you to have someone like that so that you don't have to do everything on your own.
[ She nods, and her expression softens again in a way that’s a little imploring, because one part of what he says does worry her. ]
…But do you really have to be erased to make things up to your world? I’m not questioning atoning. But I don’t want you to be forgotten and erased either.
He at least explains it rather than leave her confused, but the expression of that confusion turns back to a soft smile. It’s another one of those aspects where there’s a gap between what kinds of gods they are. Because to Quetzalcoatl, the prospect of being forgotten by the World doesn’t frighten her. It seems like a fair consequence of giving up her Authority. She would be giving her teōtl back to Tezcatlipoca, no less, but why wouldn’t she? She’d sworn an oath. She would protect Set in what ways she could, and she felt that as resolutely as the moment she’d decided to descend to Mictlan. No matter the difficulties, it was a duty she’d gladly bear for another.
…But naturally, this wasn’t as simple as descending to Mictlan. The destined feats of a hero god were something that was always meant to be. Trying to embrace Set with her love wasn’t so concrete. She has the hope for it, not knowing that her own fate was being written by a demon and its master. ]
It’s okay.
[ She says that first, warm and comforting, and though she can’t quite hold his hands back with how he has her wrists, she does lean down so that she can kiss some of his fingers gently. She’s so intensely physical with her feelings that she just has to do something, really… ]
It was just an idea! If it’s better if I don’t, then I won’t. I just mean it, you know? I love you, so I want to be the big sister that’s always on your side. When things are good, I’ll smile with you, and when they’re bad, I’ll embrace you. I want you to have someone like that so that you don't have to do everything on your own.
[ She nods, and her expression softens again in a way that’s a little imploring, because one part of what he says does worry her. ]
…But do you really have to be erased to make things up to your world? I’m not questioning atoning. But I don’t want you to be forgotten and erased either.
[ Oh. The other Meridian god is a trickster? That's good to know. Drizzt has heard a little bit about the colorful cast of characters in Kenos by word of mouth in the cities, if not from witnessing them via the play-by-play in the newspapers following the Oracle's conclusion. Quetzalcoatl had been very kind to the Zenith, while Set... well, he was a bit of a problem child, it seemed. ]
Your brother? Really, it was that effective?
[ Perhaps because of the environment he grew up in, Drizzt isn't as susceptible to illusion or mental-type spellwork. High wisdom, very high wisdom. And just... a lot of experience knowing how to ground himself in reality. It's a little funny to think of a god being easily tricked, but. Was that not how their myths went? Their stories? Some gods were smart, some were full of heart. ]
I don't think I need to ask you to watch over the Shard-bearers regarding the shadows either. I will be. Meridian and Zenith alike, I've no intention of giving quarter to anything as insidious as these shadows. Or Oblivion, either. [ His main Enemy atm. ] Would you tell me about your temple, maybe? Or your brother? Whichever one keeps the smile on your face.
Your brother? Really, it was that effective?
[ Perhaps because of the environment he grew up in, Drizzt isn't as susceptible to illusion or mental-type spellwork. High wisdom, very high wisdom. And just... a lot of experience knowing how to ground himself in reality. It's a little funny to think of a god being easily tricked, but. Was that not how their myths went? Their stories? Some gods were smart, some were full of heart. ]
I don't think I need to ask you to watch over the Shard-bearers regarding the shadows either. I will be. Meridian and Zenith alike, I've no intention of giving quarter to anything as insidious as these shadows. Or Oblivion, either. [ His main Enemy atm. ] Would you tell me about your temple, maybe? Or your brother? Whichever one keeps the smile on your face.
[SHE'S SO OVERWHELMING IT'S LIKE GETTING BEAMED BY A FLASHLIGHT. In the aftermath of the Oracle Rin finds it hard to disguise how this flusters her.]
R-right. What's your spice tolerance?
[Gray might not have been able to survive the kind of spice she has fed Kirei, so this is important.]
R-right. What's your spice tolerance?
[Gray might not have been able to survive the kind of spice she has fed Kirei, so this is important.]
[ …When he asks it that way, she does feel a little silly. Her expression turns embarrassed and sheepish, but it’s because Drizzt’s thoughts were spot-on. In the mythology of the Aztecs, it was always Quetzalcoatl being tricked. All heart, no brains. ]
[ But she’s so earnest too that she can’t help but explain, at least a little bit. It’s enough to put those pieces together. ]
…Well, my brother and Set, they’re a lot alike, yes… Tezcatlipoca is a trickster too, so…
[ She trails off, because she doesn’t want to say it. It was super effective. So! Instead of that, she turns back to Drizzt with an energetic flourish. ]
—So, my temple, yes! Let’s not talk about Tezcatlipoca!
[ And casually just confirm that the man that Drizzt had spoken to was indeed the brother in question.
Quetzalcoatl gives him an enthusiastic nod, then gestures up to the huge, elaborately carved monolith that sits on top of the comparatively quite simple shrine that they stand before. ]
That’s la Piedra del Sol. It’s beautiful, isn’t it? [ As she looks up at it and explains, her voice is full of nothing short of admiration and love. ] My people, the Azteca, they made it. It’s the story of how we made them, but also all the worlds that came before them. And the calendar of the year too, yes! It’s really amazing that they have it all together…! I loved it so much that, well, it kind of became a part of me is the best way to explain it!
[ She laughs as she looks back to Drizzt and shrugs, because that really is the best explanation you’re going to get from her. Trying to explain the mechanics of how a Divine Spirit becomes a Servant is a little too complicated for her. Again, all heart, no brains… ]
I was the one that created the people of the Fifth Sun, so I bring them with me, always.
…Well, my brother and Set, they’re a lot alike, yes… Tezcatlipoca is a trickster too, so…
[ She trails off, because she doesn’t want to say it. It was super effective. So! Instead of that, she turns back to Drizzt with an energetic flourish. ]
—So, my temple, yes! Let’s not talk about Tezcatlipoca!
[ And casually just confirm that the man that Drizzt had spoken to was indeed the brother in question.
Quetzalcoatl gives him an enthusiastic nod, then gestures up to the huge, elaborately carved monolith that sits on top of the comparatively quite simple shrine that they stand before. ]
That’s la Piedra del Sol. It’s beautiful, isn’t it? [ As she looks up at it and explains, her voice is full of nothing short of admiration and love. ] My people, the Azteca, they made it. It’s the story of how we made them, but also all the worlds that came before them. And the calendar of the year too, yes! It’s really amazing that they have it all together…! I loved it so much that, well, it kind of became a part of me is the best way to explain it!
[ She laughs as she looks back to Drizzt and shrugs, because that really is the best explanation you’re going to get from her. Trying to explain the mechanics of how a Divine Spirit becomes a Servant is a little too complicated for her. Again, all heart, no brains… ]
I was the one that created the people of the Fifth Sun, so I bring them with me, always.
[ Oh... Flustered... Cute.... At least Quetzalcoatl doesn't have a bullying bone in her body, so she just fondly notes it for herself. ]
¡Mucho, mucho!
[ She laughs warmly, because it's almost funny to be asked! She'd imagine it's a bit of a stereotype that a god of Mesoamerica would love spice, but. It's 100% true. ]
I love spice, yes! The spicier the better!! The food of my people was known for being super spicy, so I love it more than most, I think.
¡Mucho, mucho!
[ She laughs warmly, because it's almost funny to be asked! She'd imagine it's a bit of a stereotype that a god of Mesoamerica would love spice, but. It's 100% true. ]
I love spice, yes! The spicier the better!! The food of my people was known for being super spicy, so I love it more than most, I think.
[ Her presence, with Authority intact, would constitute a direct act of war against the gods of Egypt. There was a foreigner that he traveled with, sly and obnoxious, whom had been pressured into submission by Ma'at — there was no reason Set, whose domains included foreign lands and their people, would rationally be able to accept Quetzalcoatl's presence in Egypt without also viewing it as an invasion. A danger to his home, and something that could trigger the criteria that would bypass his ability to atone and consign him directly to nonexistence.
Not to mention his deep, unsettling fears of her being erased and forgotten by her own people.
The terror grips him like a hand around the throat; he remembers Amos's words, in that moment. That it sounded, to him, like Set's greatest concern was being forgotten; it sickens him, to have been so readily seen by a man who had the object permanence of a worm and no desire to empathize with anyone. Just to fake it all, and turn on them like a monster when they failed to adhere to his criteria. Anyways. Amos hate aside. Quetzalcoatl says she wants to be,
the big sister that was always on his side. And Set wilts. ]
Isis — [ He half-cries his sister's name, pain shooting through him as he thinks of her face.
His resentment for her. His love, so savagely destroyed by her turning her back and him lashing out at her. ]
That is my atonement. I have to, return all the souls I abused to their rest and know all the pain I caused them. I have end the abuses of men I led to depravity — because I corrupted Egypt, Quetzalcoatl. I drove humans to madness, and the only way they... they get to be free, is if I am erased from history. I once — I once protected the land, and now, they will only remember me for my sins. My temples are gone. My name stricken from the annals, my good deeds and the prayers of little towns that once smiled at me and called me their guardian — they don't remember me. The only people who do are madmen, slavers and murderers and rapists.
[ He needs her to understand. ]
I have to stop existing, so they can never be inspired to such wickedness again.
Not to mention his deep, unsettling fears of her being erased and forgotten by her own people.
The terror grips him like a hand around the throat; he remembers Amos's words, in that moment. That it sounded, to him, like Set's greatest concern was being forgotten; it sickens him, to have been so readily seen by a man who had the object permanence of a worm and no desire to empathize with anyone. Just to fake it all, and turn on them like a monster when they failed to adhere to his criteria. Anyways. Amos hate aside. Quetzalcoatl says she wants to be,
the big sister that was always on his side. And Set wilts. ]
Isis — [ He half-cries his sister's name, pain shooting through him as he thinks of her face.
His resentment for her. His love, so savagely destroyed by her turning her back and him lashing out at her. ]
That is my atonement. I have to, return all the souls I abused to their rest and know all the pain I caused them. I have end the abuses of men I led to depravity — because I corrupted Egypt, Quetzalcoatl. I drove humans to madness, and the only way they... they get to be free, is if I am erased from history. I once — I once protected the land, and now, they will only remember me for my sins. My temples are gone. My name stricken from the annals, my good deeds and the prayers of little towns that once smiled at me and called me their guardian — they don't remember me. The only people who do are madmen, slavers and murderers and rapists.
[ He needs her to understand. ]
I have to stop existing, so they can never be inspired to such wickedness again.
[ Quetzalcoatl’s expression twists at that pain in his voice, but as he explains, it just turns confused over anything else. The story that Set explains is one he’s referred to a bit, but this is the first time hearing it together. She twists her hands together anxiously during the story, but by the time he finishes, she steps closer. Quetzalcoatl starts to reach out for his hands, but she changes her minds and reaches out to brush some of the hair out of his face instead. ]
Set…
[ She just says his name gently, because her reaction probably isn’t the one he’d expect. It’s not just her bias for Set at work, either. In her pantheon, the story he explains wouldn’t make sense. The gods were imperfect and the worlds they made were too, but corruption was still the problem of humans alone. The gods didn’t corrupt their lands the way that Set describes.
So, it’s unfair, she thinks.
She doesn’t deny that Set’s world works this way, but she thinks it’s deeply, deeply unfair that he had to bear such a burden. Even the gods of the Azteca who showed their love through sacrifice wouldn’t ask such a great thing. In fact, that was the point—it wasn’t asked. It was always something given voluntarily. There’s a lot she wants to say to that as a result, but as she withdraws her hand, it ends up just being a small question. ]
Ey, but... Is that what you want?
Set…
[ She just says his name gently, because her reaction probably isn’t the one he’d expect. It’s not just her bias for Set at work, either. In her pantheon, the story he explains wouldn’t make sense. The gods were imperfect and the worlds they made were too, but corruption was still the problem of humans alone. The gods didn’t corrupt their lands the way that Set describes.
So, it’s unfair, she thinks.
She doesn’t deny that Set’s world works this way, but she thinks it’s deeply, deeply unfair that he had to bear such a burden. Even the gods of the Azteca who showed their love through sacrifice wouldn’t ask such a great thing. In fact, that was the point—it wasn’t asked. It was always something given voluntarily. There’s a lot she wants to say to that as a result, but as she withdraws her hand, it ends up just being a small question. ]
Ey, but... Is that what you want?
[ ...What a good girl. Her immediate instinct is to say that Rin doesn't do anything, but she knows Rin wouldn't quite accept that. It's a kind gesture, so her answer is easy and warm. ]
Mm, any time, really! Is it okay if I came to Highstorm, though? I still live in Heliopolis, so... It might be a little hard for you to get in now, unfortunately!
[ Since after the Oracle, well. Things are a little spicy when it comes to faction relations... ]
Mm, any time, really! Is it okay if I came to Highstorm, though? I still live in Heliopolis, so... It might be a little hard for you to get in now, unfortunately!
[ Since after the Oracle, well. Things are a little spicy when it comes to faction relations... ]
Oh, that's your shop, yes?
[ She remembers Rin's advertisement!! So, she's excited now to come see it, since she hadn't made it over yet. There's a cute little burst of happiness and an affirmative noise. ]
Yes, how exciting! I'm pretty sure I know where that is! [ she'll get a little lost. it's fine. ] Thank you for inviting me! ¡Estare ahi pronto!
[ And indeed! After a little time to finish what she's doing and collect something just a little warmer for Highstorm, she'd just head right over! She's simple. ]
[ She remembers Rin's advertisement!! So, she's excited now to come see it, since she hadn't made it over yet. There's a cute little burst of happiness and an affirmative noise. ]
Yes, how exciting! I'm pretty sure I know where that is! [ she'll get a little lost. it's fine. ] Thank you for inviting me! ¡Estare ahi pronto!
[ And indeed! After a little time to finish what she's doing and collect something just a little warmer for Highstorm, she'd just head right over! She's simple. ]
Edited 2023-12-19 19:57 (UTC)
[ As she gives the name of her brother, it definitely confirms things. No wonder Tezcatlipoca had been so interested in the sight of Piedra del Sol cresting over the trees of the Beyond. Sibling rivalries were known to him, and gods often took their relationships to extremes — he resolves to broach the topic to Tezcatlipoca, if ever he sees him again. Just to ensure that the god understands that Drizzt prefers when people do not obscure vital information from him. And he'd offered to guard him! ]
It is beautiful. I saw it when I visited Highstorm, for the first time. That you were able to bring a piece of yourself and your history to this world — Piedra del Sol and the memory of your people.
[ He thinks it's important to do that, looking back at Guen with a fondness in his eyes and an appreciation for her. What he cannot do is condemn or begrudge Quetzalcoatl for wanting to return to those people, but the cost he feels she would have to pay for them is obscene. They're gone, and something far too powerful stands in the way. He wants to ready himself to face it down, in case Zenith doesn't win — but, the best thing would be to protect and preserve these people. ]
I've heard that gods see the world far differently than mortals. How is it you look upon this fight between Meridian and Zenith? I'd like to understand what's important to you.
It is beautiful. I saw it when I visited Highstorm, for the first time. That you were able to bring a piece of yourself and your history to this world — Piedra del Sol and the memory of your people.
[ He thinks it's important to do that, looking back at Guen with a fondness in his eyes and an appreciation for her. What he cannot do is condemn or begrudge Quetzalcoatl for wanting to return to those people, but the cost he feels she would have to pay for them is obscene. They're gone, and something far too powerful stands in the way. He wants to ready himself to face it down, in case Zenith doesn't win — but, the best thing would be to protect and preserve these people. ]
I've heard that gods see the world far differently than mortals. How is it you look upon this fight between Meridian and Zenith? I'd like to understand what's important to you.
[ tezca eto-ing in the void ]
[ The compliment makes Quetzalcoatl’s already warm smile nothing less than radiant. More than most, Drizzt understands why this is something so beautiful and important to her, at least mostly. The fact that her Azteca were a culture of the past is something she leaves out for her own heartache on the subject. For now, she’s just full of love and pride for the people she looked over.
The question that follows isn’t much of a surprise, though. It’s one she’s been asked fairly often by the people of Kenos—natives and Shard-Bearers both. She does tend to give a slightly different answer to Shard-Bearers, though. For the natives, she wants to be their pure, uncomplicated hope, just as she was for her Azteca. For the people she would be fighting with and against, though… She feels they deserve more of the nuance. ]
Mm… It’s complicated, yes. I understand them both, and I could be either. It simply isn’t the right time for me to be Zenith, I guess is what it comes down to.
[ She looks back to the sunstone, since it abstractly lays out what she explains here, but trying to gesture to it wouldn’t be helpful. Its imagery makes perfect sense to her, but she doubts that would be the case for Drizzt. ]
We gods of the Azteca aren’t perfect. The world that exists now is our fifth try of it, actually! We call them Suns, since it’s the sun that’s life-giving, not the world, and with each Sun, a different god has taken up that position to try and craft a good one. But each of the four previous Suns had problems. Sometimes it was our fault or our nature—like when Tezcatlipoca was the sun, it was all black, so the people of that sun lived in the darkness of the black sun and couldn’t flourish. Sometimes it’s the people, since there was another where they were mostly wicked and flawed, so their world was no better.
[ Her attention turns back to Drizzt, and though her smile is still so warm and loving, her words feel callous for what she describes… At least if it were from a mortal. Morally speaking, there’s nothing wrong with it as a god, and that sort of distance is what tends to characterize them, regardless of their world or pantheon. ]
So, when they’re not right, we brought them cataclysm and started again. It’s a cycle, just like life and death. Even the current Sun, the Fifth Sun, it’s destined to end one day, since it’s not perfect either. It’s beautiful and it’s my favorite because I made its people, but when the time comes, I’ll mourn it as I wipe it away too.
[ It’s a long preamble to answering that question, but she thinks it’s important. After so long in Kenos, she’s found that not many people think of the world the way she does, and not only because she’s a god. The theology and the view of the world that she and her family have is more unique than she would have guessed. ]
…All of that to say! [ She laughs sheepishly, since she feels like she’s talked a lot already, but she continues ] —I don’t think it’s a fight that normal people should have to have, you know? I feel bad that it’s even anything that the Shard-Bearers have to worry about. It’s the duty of gods to care about big questions like that. I’d be happier if this were just a normal war about which city was better or who owns what land, not… Well, making people fight for countless lives, whether they’re leaving them behind or trying to hold onto them.
[ That smile softens, but it’s still a fond one of sympathy. ]
Meridian is my duty. But every life here is precious, no matter which side they pick. That’s how I look upon it.
[ The compliment makes Quetzalcoatl’s already warm smile nothing less than radiant. More than most, Drizzt understands why this is something so beautiful and important to her, at least mostly. The fact that her Azteca were a culture of the past is something she leaves out for her own heartache on the subject. For now, she’s just full of love and pride for the people she looked over.
The question that follows isn’t much of a surprise, though. It’s one she’s been asked fairly often by the people of Kenos—natives and Shard-Bearers both. She does tend to give a slightly different answer to Shard-Bearers, though. For the natives, she wants to be their pure, uncomplicated hope, just as she was for her Azteca. For the people she would be fighting with and against, though… She feels they deserve more of the nuance. ]
Mm… It’s complicated, yes. I understand them both, and I could be either. It simply isn’t the right time for me to be Zenith, I guess is what it comes down to.
[ She looks back to the sunstone, since it abstractly lays out what she explains here, but trying to gesture to it wouldn’t be helpful. Its imagery makes perfect sense to her, but she doubts that would be the case for Drizzt. ]
We gods of the Azteca aren’t perfect. The world that exists now is our fifth try of it, actually! We call them Suns, since it’s the sun that’s life-giving, not the world, and with each Sun, a different god has taken up that position to try and craft a good one. But each of the four previous Suns had problems. Sometimes it was our fault or our nature—like when Tezcatlipoca was the sun, it was all black, so the people of that sun lived in the darkness of the black sun and couldn’t flourish. Sometimes it’s the people, since there was another where they were mostly wicked and flawed, so their world was no better.
[ Her attention turns back to Drizzt, and though her smile is still so warm and loving, her words feel callous for what she describes… At least if it were from a mortal. Morally speaking, there’s nothing wrong with it as a god, and that sort of distance is what tends to characterize them, regardless of their world or pantheon. ]
So, when they’re not right, we brought them cataclysm and started again. It’s a cycle, just like life and death. Even the current Sun, the Fifth Sun, it’s destined to end one day, since it’s not perfect either. It’s beautiful and it’s my favorite because I made its people, but when the time comes, I’ll mourn it as I wipe it away too.
[ It’s a long preamble to answering that question, but she thinks it’s important. After so long in Kenos, she’s found that not many people think of the world the way she does, and not only because she’s a god. The theology and the view of the world that she and her family have is more unique than she would have guessed. ]
…All of that to say! [ She laughs sheepishly, since she feels like she’s talked a lot already, but she continues ] —I don’t think it’s a fight that normal people should have to have, you know? I feel bad that it’s even anything that the Shard-Bearers have to worry about. It’s the duty of gods to care about big questions like that. I’d be happier if this were just a normal war about which city was better or who owns what land, not… Well, making people fight for countless lives, whether they’re leaving them behind or trying to hold onto them.
[ That smile softens, but it’s still a fond one of sympathy. ]
Meridian is my duty. But every life here is precious, no matter which side they pick. That’s how I look upon it.
I think the choice between Meridian and Zenith ought to be a complicated one. People are too complex, often contradictory, to be told to choose from limited options and expected to be blindly satisfied with whatever they get.
[ Perhaps that spoke to the direness of the situation, that there was no third option. Only two difficult ones, for the majority; some Meridian and Zenith likely did not find their choice hard at all, and he suspected they were the ones who'd slipped deep and hard into their loyalties. In that, he agreed whole of heart with Quetzalcoatl — there's room to be either, and in the end, did it not depend on the life experiences of the individual before they arrived?
Her perspective is entirely alien to him, because he would fight for the lives of others even against a god — and had, in a way. Their right to continue to exist, whether they were good or bad, rather than be wiped away was the right of the living. Yet, he had joined Zenith, because the worlds were gone and he couldn't justify the right of the Shard-bearers of Kenos to continue to exist being less important than the dead. ]
You know, I feel the same way.
[ Maybe that's why he reaches up, above his head, to touch the edge of the calendar. To trace the ancient stone and its carvings and marvel at what it means — it is the culture of Quetzalcoatl, the proof that her Azteca once lived and created and had reason and love. Such things are so important to him to preserve, moving forward. ]
It's a painful challenge to ask people to undertake, because determining the right path for themselves is inevitably the path that will hurt many others. Their lives are precious and deserve to be protected. Right now, they're all that's left of their worlds. You and I are, too. It's why I joined Zenith, actually. To protect what's left, and not let your duty entirely override your right to peace.
[ Perhaps that spoke to the direness of the situation, that there was no third option. Only two difficult ones, for the majority; some Meridian and Zenith likely did not find their choice hard at all, and he suspected they were the ones who'd slipped deep and hard into their loyalties. In that, he agreed whole of heart with Quetzalcoatl — there's room to be either, and in the end, did it not depend on the life experiences of the individual before they arrived?
Her perspective is entirely alien to him, because he would fight for the lives of others even against a god — and had, in a way. Their right to continue to exist, whether they were good or bad, rather than be wiped away was the right of the living. Yet, he had joined Zenith, because the worlds were gone and he couldn't justify the right of the Shard-bearers of Kenos to continue to exist being less important than the dead. ]
You know, I feel the same way.
[ Maybe that's why he reaches up, above his head, to touch the edge of the calendar. To trace the ancient stone and its carvings and marvel at what it means — it is the culture of Quetzalcoatl, the proof that her Azteca once lived and created and had reason and love. Such things are so important to him to preserve, moving forward. ]
It's a painful challenge to ask people to undertake, because determining the right path for themselves is inevitably the path that will hurt many others. Their lives are precious and deserve to be protected. Right now, they're all that's left of their worlds. You and I are, too. It's why I joined Zenith, actually. To protect what's left, and not let your duty entirely override your right to peace.
[On the shortest day of the year—or the longest, by Springstar’s calendar—Liem makes his rounds to play Santa himself, though without the red-and-white costume. For the past few months, his regular visits to Springstar’s community centre have been in service of crafting handmade solstice gifts for the people in his life. This time, unlike last winter, he’s prepared.
Some of the items he brings are simply handed over without fuss: a couple fat, pleasantly spiced hand-made candles and a bottle of wine. (He didn’t make the wine, though.) The last item he delivers, with a bit more care, is a plump throw pillow with tassels and an embroidered pattern decorating it. Yes, he did sew it himself.]
Some of the items he brings are simply handed over without fuss: a couple fat, pleasantly spiced hand-made candles and a bottle of wine. (He didn’t make the wine, though.) The last item he delivers, with a bit more care, is a plump throw pillow with tassels and an embroidered pattern decorating it. Yes, he did sew it himself.]
[ She nods in agreement with a slightly sad expression. Quite a few people come to mind, and they’re the ones that cement her perception that this is the sort of conflict that’s best left to gods. She doesn’t doubt their strength, but she worries about the toll it’ll take on them. She worries that they won’t like the person they’ve become at the end of these Trials.
But as Drizzt shares his opinion and reaches out to the sunstone, her expression warms again. Actually, she looks deeply relieved as he continues, and it’s expressed in the way that Quetzalcoatl knows best. Assuming that he doesn’t flinch away, she’ll hug him quite snugly! At least her hugs are truly the best of the best—strong and warm in the way that you’d guess from a god of the sun. ]
¡Vaya! Ah, I’m so happy to hear you say that!! I love the Zenites, but so many of them are so sad!!
[ Which is definitely an understated way of what she means, but so many of those sad stories are deeply personal to who they belong to. Regardless, she does place her hands on his shoulders as she faces him and gives them an affirming squeeze. ]
You have a good, warm heart to want to look after people that way. It’s a beautiful way of looking at what Zenith could do, I think.
[ …Because who could understand it better than the god of a culture that had been purposefully withered? This is a much more extreme example, of course, but she can deeply feel the importance of wanting to care for and preserve what’s left. It’s also a perspective she hasn’t heard from a Zenite before. Not even close, actually. He can probably get that sense just from the enthusiasm of her response. ]
So, look out for the Zenites especially, okay? It's a lot for me to ask, probably! But don’t think of it as me asking as a god, okay? Think of it more like your big sister asking for a favor!
[ l-lmao… ]
But as Drizzt shares his opinion and reaches out to the sunstone, her expression warms again. Actually, she looks deeply relieved as he continues, and it’s expressed in the way that Quetzalcoatl knows best. Assuming that he doesn’t flinch away, she’ll hug him quite snugly! At least her hugs are truly the best of the best—strong and warm in the way that you’d guess from a god of the sun. ]
¡Vaya! Ah, I’m so happy to hear you say that!! I love the Zenites, but so many of them are so sad!!
[ Which is definitely an understated way of what she means, but so many of those sad stories are deeply personal to who they belong to. Regardless, she does place her hands on his shoulders as she faces him and gives them an affirming squeeze. ]
You have a good, warm heart to want to look after people that way. It’s a beautiful way of looking at what Zenith could do, I think.
[ …Because who could understand it better than the god of a culture that had been purposefully withered? This is a much more extreme example, of course, but she can deeply feel the importance of wanting to care for and preserve what’s left. It’s also a perspective she hasn’t heard from a Zenite before. Not even close, actually. He can probably get that sense just from the enthusiasm of her response. ]
So, look out for the Zenites especially, okay? It's a lot for me to ask, probably! But don’t think of it as me asking as a god, okay? Think of it more like your big sister asking for a favor!
[ l-lmao… ]
[ Her strong embrace startles him, pushing him onto his toes and flexing his muscles as he readies to slip her grasp and — ah, this is not an attack. The twisting of his mind, fluttering away into a fluid emptiness, shedding personality for reactivity, halts as he grips at the seams. Halts himself, in favor of basking in the intense, wonderful warmth that Quetzalcoatl embodies; she is so much like the sun, something that stings his eyes and skin, but that he'd basked in for hours — bathing his dark skin in light that no drow had ever embraced the way he had.
Gently, he tucks his hands into the small of her back and closes his eyes. Remembering the sun over the mountains, the brief kiss of warmth gleaming off snow and ice before the bitter cold lashed into his bones. The warmth of Catti-brie's hip under his palm, her mouth under his ear, her cheek against his thigh as she snored and snuffled by the fireside. ]
I'm glad you understand, Quetzalcoatl. I want to persevere, because Meridian's goal puts everyone back in the sights of Oblivion. If it took our worlds and lives once, going back — even if possible — it, just... it puts us all in danger. And while I mourn my world, I can't overlook those who are here. Right now.
[ He tugs back, to look her in the eye — tired and patient, someone who respects her and admires her desire, but places no personal faith in her divinity. ( Hard to, when you're the gods' favorite punching bag. ) ]
Actually, speaking of Zenites. I read in the papers that you were the last to see one of them — the one named Silco. Is he all right?
Gently, he tucks his hands into the small of her back and closes his eyes. Remembering the sun over the mountains, the brief kiss of warmth gleaming off snow and ice before the bitter cold lashed into his bones. The warmth of Catti-brie's hip under his palm, her mouth under his ear, her cheek against his thigh as she snored and snuffled by the fireside. ]
I'm glad you understand, Quetzalcoatl. I want to persevere, because Meridian's goal puts everyone back in the sights of Oblivion. If it took our worlds and lives once, going back — even if possible — it, just... it puts us all in danger. And while I mourn my world, I can't overlook those who are here. Right now.
[ He tugs back, to look her in the eye — tired and patient, someone who respects her and admires her desire, but places no personal faith in her divinity. ( Hard to, when you're the gods' favorite punching bag. ) ]
Actually, speaking of Zenites. I read in the papers that you were the last to see one of them — the one named Silco. Is he all right?
[ Being startled by Quetzalcoatl’s embrace isn’t a new reaction—most people tend to be, since her affection does tend to come out of seemingly nowhere. So, she doesn’t think much of how he flinches, but she does notice how he relaxes. She’s more attuned to that kind of reaction, even if it’s almost subconscious on her part. For a god that loves life and people so deeply, she’s sensitive to those who especially want or need the kind of affection she provides.
So, she holds Drizzt securely as he basks in it. This is the kind of thing she’s always happy to provide for Zenites especially, because part of her sorrow and fondness for them stems from the fact that she thinks they’ve been deprived of love like this. Impossible as it may be, she still wishes that every person could experience love as unconditional as hers.
She’s happy that he indulges too. Most Zenites shy away from it because they see it as weakness, she’s noticed. ]
So, she holds Drizzt securely as he basks in it. This is the kind of thing she’s always happy to provide for Zenites especially, because part of her sorrow and fondness for them stems from the fact that she thinks they’ve been deprived of love like this. Impossible as it may be, she still wishes that every person could experience love as unconditional as hers.
She’s happy that he indulges too. Most Zenites shy away from it because they see it as weakness, she’s noticed. ]
[ So, as he pulls back she looks content herself. For the hug to be accepted might as well be like worship for her, but she accepts it simply and without any of the pretense that could come with a deity. She nods a little at what he says, because she does understand it… But her world has so many defenses against such horrors that it’s part of why she can’t believe it’s gone. She would have personally been called to fend it off, and if that fate is coming? She will, without question.
However, as Silco is mentioned, her expression turns surprised and then sheepish… But it’s mostly because even for beloved Quetzalcoatl, the papers of Springstar hadn’t been kind to her mercy. With how conflicted she is over having custody of his Shard in general, that stung all the more. ]
Mm, yes, I’m taking care of him…
[ She considers it, but then with a nod towards the shrine, she walks that way, though she’s still holding Drizzt’s hands. Now that he’s accepted her physical affection, She Will Not Stop. ]
All the Meri are kind of mad at me, but I think he fell down to me for a reason. If he’d stayed with Voryn and Hayame, they would have… [ She sighs a little, because their convictions are something that she loves and admires, but the action itself? ] Well, it’s complicated, yes? I almost wish people just died the way they were supposed to. Actually killing the Shard-Bearers… It’s something I can’t accept or allow.
However, as Silco is mentioned, her expression turns surprised and then sheepish… But it’s mostly because even for beloved Quetzalcoatl, the papers of Springstar hadn’t been kind to her mercy. With how conflicted she is over having custody of his Shard in general, that stung all the more. ]
Mm, yes, I’m taking care of him…
[ She considers it, but then with a nod towards the shrine, she walks that way, though she’s still holding Drizzt’s hands. Now that he’s accepted her physical affection, She Will Not Stop. ]
All the Meri are kind of mad at me, but I think he fell down to me for a reason. If he’d stayed with Voryn and Hayame, they would have… [ She sighs a little, because their convictions are something that she loves and admires, but the action itself? ] Well, it’s complicated, yes? I almost wish people just died the way they were supposed to. Actually killing the Shard-Bearers… It’s something I can’t accept or allow.
[ She is,
the most horrible and wonderful thing to have come into his life. She loves too much, without boundaries, and she looks at him like it's okay. Like somehow, in all of reality and time and vast consciousness, the things he is being punished for are things he shouldn't be held responsible for. It makes him feel like a god, a real one. It also makes him feel despair, deep and overwhelming as she strokes hair from his face and regards him in a way that his family would never.
I was made this way, he wants to remind her. Existence itself crafted him, and demanded he be its villain and sin-eater. Instead, his throat seizes and his voice hitches and he tries so hard to bare his teeth and can only say, impotent and longing: ] I want to go home. I want to feel safe again. I want to not be this! I want so much, and more than ANYTHING I want my BABY.
[
]
— and, I will never get anything I want.
[ There is a deep, strangling magic in those words. A dark curse, spoken into existence by someone who'd loved him. Who bled hatefully to ensure he suffered, while he'd cried and begged to be saved. If he goes back to Egypt... he will never have Anubis. ]
the most horrible and wonderful thing to have come into his life. She loves too much, without boundaries, and she looks at him like it's okay. Like somehow, in all of reality and time and vast consciousness, the things he is being punished for are things he shouldn't be held responsible for. It makes him feel like a god, a real one. It also makes him feel despair, deep and overwhelming as she strokes hair from his face and regards him in a way that his family would never.
I was made this way, he wants to remind her. Existence itself crafted him, and demanded he be its villain and sin-eater. Instead, his throat seizes and his voice hitches and he tries so hard to bare his teeth and can only say, impotent and longing: ] I want to go home. I want to feel safe again. I want to not be this! I want so much, and more than ANYTHING I want my BABY.
[
]— and, I will never get anything I want.
[ There is a deep, strangling magic in those words. A dark curse, spoken into existence by someone who'd loved him. Who bled hatefully to ensure he suffered, while he'd cried and begged to be saved. If he goes back to Egypt... he will never have Anubis. ]
Edited 2024-01-08 02:20 (UTC)
[ She can’t help it how her heart jumps at the tone in his voice alone. It makes her eyes well up with tears too. It’s a mirror in the sense that her heart always aches for others when they’re sad, but she would have started crying regardless. She wants to help him so deeply, but she’s also not sure if she can. That feels unfair too, because even if she’s a god of humanity, surely she should be able to help other gods that need it… Yet that’s a much harder thing to do.
(And in the sky above, a little cloud starts to gather. Don’t mind that.)
It’s partially to stop herself from truly blubbering despite herself, but she does close that little distance so that she can wrap her arms fully around him. She’d wanted to do this since they parted in that stupid park, but this is different now, something bigger. It’s more like when she’d protectively held him in The Last Dance—all warmth and affection, but wanting so deeply to be able to cut away his pain, no matter how hard it was. ]
I’m sorry— [ He hiccoughs, and it’s an apology that’s probably for her own tears just as much as she feels the sorrow for his circumstances. She feels bad for crying when it’s not her situation to mourn, but her empathy runs deep for those she cares about. ]
I want your world to be kinder to you!
[ She says it vehemently and almost childishly, but that’s what it comes down to, doesn’t it? It’s the sentiment that it always comes down to when she talks to people in Kenos, she feels like. She’d told Silco something similar, and he’d loathed it, but that didn’t change her convictions and hopes for people. She’s a god of good that will always want a kind, loving world for its people, no matter whether they’re a human or a god. And for all of the problems and rivalries of her own pantheon… It didn’t seem to be anything compared to his. ]
Even if you’ve done bad things… Even if your followers are no good now, I don’t— I don’t think you should be denied everything because of it. There’s good in you. You deserve all of that and more, I think.
[ She gives him a tighter squeeze, just on the verge of uncomfortable, but it’s brief just as she says: ]
I’d give so much to be able to help free you from all of that.
(And in the sky above, a little cloud starts to gather. Don’t mind that.)
It’s partially to stop herself from truly blubbering despite herself, but she does close that little distance so that she can wrap her arms fully around him. She’d wanted to do this since they parted in that stupid park, but this is different now, something bigger. It’s more like when she’d protectively held him in The Last Dance—all warmth and affection, but wanting so deeply to be able to cut away his pain, no matter how hard it was. ]
I’m sorry— [ He hiccoughs, and it’s an apology that’s probably for her own tears just as much as she feels the sorrow for his circumstances. She feels bad for crying when it’s not her situation to mourn, but her empathy runs deep for those she cares about. ]
I want your world to be kinder to you!
[ She says it vehemently and almost childishly, but that’s what it comes down to, doesn’t it? It’s the sentiment that it always comes down to when she talks to people in Kenos, she feels like. She’d told Silco something similar, and he’d loathed it, but that didn’t change her convictions and hopes for people. She’s a god of good that will always want a kind, loving world for its people, no matter whether they’re a human or a god. And for all of the problems and rivalries of her own pantheon… It didn’t seem to be anything compared to his. ]
Even if you’ve done bad things… Even if your followers are no good now, I don’t— I don’t think you should be denied everything because of it. There’s good in you. You deserve all of that and more, I think.
[ She gives him a tighter squeeze, just on the verge of uncomfortable, but it’s brief just as she says: ]
I’d give so much to be able to help free you from all of that.
It won't be. It never could be, not to me — and I have to live with that.
[ Gods were never children, not really. Not his generation, even though he and Isis had been able to raise their offspring as if they were; he cannot remember being held in his mother's arms, looked at by his father with pride. His siblings had loved him, though — the youngest of the four, tenderly loved by his best friend and loved by his wife and respected by his brother. And then, all of them were exposed as liars and monsters. Right now, he wants to be a child.
He wants to bawl about the injustice of his world, about being made the way he was — for evil, for pain, for loss and mistreatment. The world did not make him so it could be kind to one more existence. It made him because someone needed to exist so it could unburden its cruelty. ]
I cannot dream of a kinder world for me. I could let it die, though. I could leave it dead and take the thing I want most to some other place. But, I saw Osiris come through the Tree and... and she held him. She embraced him. If Lady Yima is timeless and sees so much, then she must know what he did to me — and she would give him love anyways.
[ In her arms, he is deeply uncomfortable. Being hugged right now as his mind reels and his hatred for Yima and disappointment in Zenith grows day-by-day is like being held down, controlled. He squirms in Quetzalcoatl's arms and reaches for her throat, claws and teeth coming to bare even as his voice trembles and his tears flow. ]
— you cannot promise me tomorrow. You cannot promise me a future. You can promise me the here-and-now, though. You can promise to help me strike a blow against Zenith. Against the Lady Yima.
[ Gods were never children, not really. Not his generation, even though he and Isis had been able to raise their offspring as if they were; he cannot remember being held in his mother's arms, looked at by his father with pride. His siblings had loved him, though — the youngest of the four, tenderly loved by his best friend and loved by his wife and respected by his brother. And then, all of them were exposed as liars and monsters. Right now, he wants to be a child.
He wants to bawl about the injustice of his world, about being made the way he was — for evil, for pain, for loss and mistreatment. The world did not make him so it could be kind to one more existence. It made him because someone needed to exist so it could unburden its cruelty. ]
I cannot dream of a kinder world for me. I could let it die, though. I could leave it dead and take the thing I want most to some other place. But, I saw Osiris come through the Tree and... and she held him. She embraced him. If Lady Yima is timeless and sees so much, then she must know what he did to me — and she would give him love anyways.
[ In her arms, he is deeply uncomfortable. Being hugged right now as his mind reels and his hatred for Yima and disappointment in Zenith grows day-by-day is like being held down, controlled. He squirms in Quetzalcoatl's arms and reaches for her throat, claws and teeth coming to bare even as his voice trembles and his tears flow. ]
— you cannot promise me tomorrow. You cannot promise me a future. You can promise me the here-and-now, though. You can promise to help me strike a blow against Zenith. Against the Lady Yima.
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